Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Holy Shit!

I made it to #1 on the UK bestseller list. I'm soooo absolutely stunned! (Seriously, almost threw my laptop cuz I was trynna jump up and down, y'all!) So stoked that I had to do something to thank everyone for all the support. Holding strong at #3 in the US bestseller for a week now so I totally had to do something to thank everyone sooooo.... I give you the prologue for You Can Still See The Stars In Seattle. (totally NSFW):


            Jacob could focus on nothing but the sweat on the skin of the man beneath him and the way the man’s muscles worked his cock as he slid home into the willing body. It had been too long. He almost lost it from the moment he breached that hot entrance. It did not help when the man began to writhe beneath him. He was obviously a skilled lover if the way he worked those muscles was any indication.
            Jacob had finally had all he could of simply reveling in the feel of the man’s body. He was filled with the need to move, to plunder. He began a brutal thrusting. This was no exchance of love, hell they didn’t even know one another’s names/ This was a brutal taking of what needed to be fulfilled. The demon inside Jacob.
            The man’s grunt and cries with each inward plunge were delicious and Jacob was not sure how long he would last if the man kept it up so Jacob reached around and grasped the man’s hard cock in his hand and stroked him in time with the thrust of his own hips.
            Jacob loathed these encounters as much as he needed them. He never felt as alive or as whole as he did when he had a strong, powerful body taking pleasure around him, and giving pleasure in kind. It was like a high/ But he hated those stolen moments. He hated that this is all it would ever be. That meeting in a bar, the hotel rooms, the shower to clean off the freedom before he slipped home to his cage. A cage of his own design, if he admitted it.
            Jacob closed his eyes and willed the thoughts away as the man beneath him started to gasp and clench in the throes of orgasm, reeling Jacob quickly along with him. Jacob saw white and hunched over the man’s backm digging his fingers bruisingly into the man’s hips as he shot into the condom.
            The lay for a moment, still joined, panting and trying to recover from their bliss. Jacob tried always tried to steal just one more moment than he should before the flavor of the night had had enough and bolted. This man – Erik?—was obviously patient because he reached back and gently rubbed circles on Jacob’s thighs with warm hands that soothed Jacob and nearly made him weepy.
            A light suddenly cut through the dark. That wasn’t right. Both he and Erik? turned their heads quickly and Jacob jumped back quickly at the vision of his wife standing in the open door of the hotel room with a face full twisted with rage. He’d pulled out so fast that Erik? had gasped. He would have apologized were he not so shocked. He reached out for Ceely but before he could do anything—and really what could he do—she bolted down the hallway.
            He slowly sat on the bed, trembling violently. He couldn’t have run after her if he had wanted. He suddenly felt violently ill and he was naked, not to mention she had caught him balls deep in another man. Not many excuses for that. “Oh honey, I slipped” didn’t seem like it would fit the bill here.
            “Let me guess, you’re married.” Jacob looked up to Erik who was putting his clothes on in a way that screamed “controlled rage”.
            “Yeah.” Jacob put his face in his hands and released a breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob. He was shocked when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and Erik actually seemed like his anger had dissipated. Maybe he even looked like there was some pity in his eyes.
“You seem too nice to be doing shit like this, man. And I never say shit like this to hook-ups. You seem genuinely good, though. Maybe it’s best this way.” The man turned on his heel and left Jacob to himself. He was a bit stunned by that statement. The guy had no idea what Jacob stood to lose over his stupidity.
The longest drive in his life was the ten miles it took to get from downtown Atlanta to his home in Decatur. Everything he could say ran through his head, but he had never been a good liar. Unless you counted the one he told every time he said he was straight.
He knew his wife had suspected and affair. They’d been married a year and he had only had sex with her enough for them to get pregnant with their baby boy. She was his first girl, and he had managed to get her to wait til after they were married. He hated it. He felt more guilty having sex with her than any time he had been with a man. Yet he could not ever be with a man. There was no way.
She had become expectant after marriage, though and had been trying to instigate more intimacy but he used the pregnancy as an excuse then was happy for the six week rule the doctor placed after the birth. But now that Brandon was seven months old, he’d run out of excuses.  Ceely had obviously gotten the right idea, although he was certain that she had not guessed the correct sex of his partners.
If only he could have the one person he had always wanted. His life should be so different. But he would not ever regret his son. Brandon was his joy. His life. The only thing his father could not take away from him, even if he was a gay man living a lie.
He smiled thinking of his son. He just wanted to hug the little bundle tight and that would at least make what was about to come bearable. He hated that Ceely would not want a divorce so at best he would get every other weekend. It devastated him to think he wouldn’t see the baby every day.
When he pulled up to his house, first he noticed that his wife’s car was missing. He rushed into the house, slamming the door, while dialing Ceely’s number on his phone. Straight to voicemail.
He ran into their room and the closets were empty. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised but how could she just take the baby. A check of the baby’s room confirmed that even Brandon’s clothes were missing. Jacob wandered to the crib feeling numb, leaning on the rails. That’s when he spotted the note. He reached for it with trembling hands and could not stop the loud sob that escaped when he read the words written on the paper.

Don’t even bother looking. You’ll never find us.

1 comment: