Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
When Andrew Riley
arrives in Seattle to work at an underprivileged school at the request of his
cousin, Amanda, he finds himself sharing accommodations with her current
boyfriend—his estranged high school friend, Jacob Chase. Living in close quarters
and working with Jacob at the school brings Andy’s old crush on Jacob back to
the surface, but for the same reasons then as now he can’t let it be known:
Jacob is straight, very uptight in his morals, and now involved with Andy's
cousin. Add to that the fact
Andy's guilty over a betrayal to a lost love because of his infatuation
for Jacob and he's convinced he shouldn't tempt fate.
Jacob Chase has
loved Andy since he knew what it meant to be attracted to someone else, but nothing scared him more than when he thought
Andy might return that love. Denying his feelings broke his heart, but there
was no way Jacob could accept his homosexuality. So he did what all good
southern boys were brought up to do: got married and had a child. Only that led
to him cheating, his wife running off with their son, and Jacob trying to atone
for his mistakes by living the straight and narrow with Amanda. But with Andrew
is back in his life can he keep up the facade? Can finally surrendering to love
show him where his future really lies, or will it destroy his chances of ever having
his son in his life? Can they both get over the hurt they've caused in their search for one another?
I am, unapologetically, a true blue politics junkie. I'm guilty of Nerdy in the First Degree. (I rest my case.) I have a degree in Political Science with a minor in International Relations, working on a MA in Public Admin & Policy so I have devoted my life to not only talking the talk, but walking the walk. I never wish to be a politician (I'm much too wild and have quite too many tattoos) but I do the footwork whenever I am truly involved in or support something, not just socially but fiscally as well. However, I try to keep that out of my writing and and separate from my work because I know readers get enough of the BS in their day to day life without us writers getting all in their Kool-Aid when it comes to politics and their personal beliefs. But one of my heroes passed away this weekend and as I was just sitting around bawling my eyes out I couldn't imagine how I could be less productive than just sitting around being silent when I have a platform, no matter how small it may be.
I have been a strong advocate for LGBTQI rights since I was old enough to understand what Equality really is. (I always capitalize Equality. Get over it Grammar Nazis.) Not just Equality for LGBTQI, but for everyone. Women (any gay man not standing up for women is an idiot. They've raised us, supported us and been our beards for way too long not to get as much love as we can give 'em.), immigrants, etc. Unfortunately, us gays don't get alot of support from the people we are known to support, but since we aren't very supportive of one another (wags finger at haters. My T-boys and T-girls deserve way more love than y'all give em, and I don't mean tips at drag shows, douche bags) it's hard to blame the jerks out there. We are like the U.S. Republican Party: a bunch of crazies with a different opinion as to whom is included. Ugh, but I digress.
My whole point here is to talk about what this whole ranting, non-sensical post is about. The "Defense of Marriage Act" *scoffs*. Not exactly sure what they're defending, but we'll just keep calling it DOMA cuz as silly as the word DOMA may be it is less silly than calling such a ludicrous law the "Defense of Marriage Act". *scoffs again*
I stood in the lines in D.C., I passed out coffee and I talked to senators all morning along with other activists they day that the vote finally happened on the repeal of the policy known as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". This was a truly important issue for me because I have many friends, family, and family in the armed services. I won't start ranting on the stupidity of our having a policy that out-dated for as long as we had it (you know we were one of the last countries to allow out service members? Like, the only other ones were, like, Iraq and Afghanistan... SERIOUSLY?! Somebody needs to smack these Evangelicals around.)
Well, thanks to alot of important people, DADT was smacked down, as it should have been long ago.
Problem.
DOMA *says in mocking voice ... with jazz hands*
You see, there's this law in the books that says no federal agency shall recognize any marriage that is not between man and woman....... but marriage is to be decided by the states. Like, each state has the right to decide whom can marry whom. (That's right Alabama, we all know it's legal there to marry your 1st cousin. {reall... not shittin' you!} Stop balking!) That's always the go-to line for GOP lawmakers (Marriage is a state issue. Let the voters decide.) whenever questioned on DOMA these days because they know, based on popularity, DOMA would probably have been stricken 5 years ago. If it's a case of STATE rights... WTF is if doing in FEDERAL law books? That doesn't seem like a strange question.....
The President decided to stop defending DOMA because it is an OUT-DATED policy! But SOH John "Crybaby" Boehner decided to push forward, using MILLIONS of tax payer dollars, defending this policy all the way to the supreme court where they're trying to beat this sweet little old lady, Edie Windsor, and LBGTQI members of our ARMED SERVICES, who give their lives and spend time away from their families to protect our country, out of their benefits as legally married, tax paying citizens of these United States of America. (how's that for fiscal responsibility.
Now some of my biggest heroes (Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach, Petty Officer Joseph Rocha, and the inspiration for this rant/post Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan) fought their asses off for this country. Does that mean anything for their significant others? Not legally, when it comes to benefits. DOMA says no! What a douche. Same-sex military spouses can't shop in commissary, use military housing, get benefits for themselves or their children, get the phone call if their spouse is injured... they can't even get the flag that's given to spouses at the funeral unless next of kin passes it to them. (I know Panetta just changed some of this, but there's enough that isn't made right until DOMA is repealed that it ALL chaps my ass)
This has got to end. I don't know if any of you read my blog. I don't know if any of you even like my writing. I KNOW this post wast random and raving, but I hope hope HOPE that someone will at least pay attention when I beg... do something. Put your money where your mouth is, call your senators, retweet HRC's DOMA posts... do SOMETHING. Your voice is important in American politics, no matter how defeated you may feel in it all or how jaded you've become with our leaders.
Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan, one bad-ass lady and one of my biggest heroes) spent every day up until her dying day fighting for Marriage Equality and the repeal of DOMA. Her wife and daughter are now left without her and, adding insult to injury without any survivor benefits. This is ridiculous. It is unconscionable and in 2013 it is sickening. I'm going to let Rachel Maddow take it from here because I'm way too emotional and feel I'm making absolutely no sense.
I made it to #1 on the UK bestseller list. I'm soooo absolutely stunned! (Seriously, almost threw my laptop cuz I was trynna jump up and down, y'all!) So stoked that I had to do something to thank everyone for all the support. Holding strong at #3 in the US bestseller for a week now so I totally had to do something to thank everyone sooooo.... I give you the prologue for You Can Still See The Stars In Seattle. (totally NSFW):
Excerpt:
Jacob
could focus on nothing but the sweat on the skin of the man beneath him and the
way the man’s muscles worked his cock as he slid home into the willing body. It
had been too long. He almost lost it from the moment he breached that hot
entrance. It did not help when the man began to writhe beneath him. He was
obviously a skilled lover if the way he worked those muscles was any
indication.
Jacob
had finally had all he could of simply reveling in the feel of the man’s body.
He was filled with the need to move, to plunder. He began a brutal thrusting.
This was no exchance of love, hell they didn’t even know one another’s names/
This was a brutal taking of what needed to be fulfilled. The demon inside
Jacob.
The
man’s grunt and cries with each inward plunge were delicious and Jacob was not
sure how long he would last if the man kept it up so Jacob reached around and
grasped the man’s hard cock in his hand and stroked him in time with the thrust
of his own hips.
Jacob
loathed these encounters as much as he needed them. He never felt as alive or
as whole as he did when he had a strong, powerful body taking pleasure around
him, and giving pleasure in kind. It was like a high/ But he hated those stolen
moments. He hated that this is all it would ever be. That meeting in a bar, the
hotel rooms, the shower to clean off the freedom before he slipped home to his
cage. A cage of his own design, if he admitted it.
Jacob
closed his eyes and willed the thoughts away as the man beneath him started to
gasp and clench in the throes of orgasm, reeling Jacob quickly along with him.
Jacob saw white and hunched over the man’s backm digging his fingers bruisingly
into the man’s hips as he shot into the condom.
The
lay for a moment, still joined, panting and trying to recover from their bliss.
Jacob tried always tried to steal just one more moment than he should before
the flavor of the night had had enough and bolted. This man – Erik?—was
obviously patient because he reached back and gently rubbed circles on Jacob’s
thighs with warm hands that soothed Jacob and nearly made him weepy.
A
light suddenly cut through the dark. That wasn’t right. Both he and Erik?
turned their heads quickly and Jacob jumped back quickly at the vision of his
wife standing in the open door of the hotel room with a face full twisted with
rage. He’d pulled out so fast that Erik? had gasped. He would have apologized
were he not so shocked. He reached out for Ceely but before he could do anything—and
really what could he do—she bolted down the hallway.
He
slowly sat on the bed, trembling violently. He couldn’t have run after her if
he had wanted. He suddenly felt violently ill and he was naked, not to mention
she had caught him balls deep in another man. Not many excuses for that. “Oh
honey, I slipped” didn’t seem like it would fit the bill here.
“Let
me guess, you’re married.” Jacob looked up to Erik who was putting his clothes
on in a way that screamed “controlled rage”.
“Yeah.”
Jacob put his face in his hands and released a breath that sounded suspiciously
like a sob. He was shocked when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up
and Erik actually seemed like his anger had dissipated. Maybe he even looked
like there was some pity in his eyes.
Great.
“You seem too nice to
be doing shit like this, man. And I never say shit like this to hook-ups. You
seem genuinely good, though. Maybe it’s best this way.” The man turned on his
heel and left Jacob to himself. He was a bit stunned by that statement. The guy
had no idea what Jacob stood to lose over his stupidity.
***
The longest drive in
his life was the ten miles it took to get from downtown Atlanta to his home in
Decatur. Everything he could say ran through his head, but he had never been a
good liar. Unless you counted the one he told every time he said he was
straight.
He knew his wife had
suspected and affair. They’d been married a year and he had only had sex with
her enough for them to get pregnant with their baby boy. She was his first
girl, and he had managed to get her to wait til after they were married. He
hated it. He felt more guilty having sex with her than any time he had been
with a man. Yet he could not ever be with a man. There was no way.
She had become
expectant after marriage, though and had been trying to instigate more intimacy
but he used the pregnancy as an excuse then was happy for the six week rule the
doctor placed after the birth. But now that Brandon was seven months old, he’d
run out of excuses. Ceely had obviously
gotten the right idea, although he was certain that she had not guessed the
correct sex of his partners.
If only he could have
the one person he had always wanted. His life should be so different. But he
would not ever regret his son. Brandon was his joy. His life. The only thing
his father could not take away from him, even if he was a gay man living a lie.
He smiled thinking of
his son. He just wanted to hug the little bundle tight and that would at least
make what was about to come bearable. He hated that Ceely would not want a
divorce so at best he would get every other weekend. It devastated him to think
he wouldn’t see the baby every day.
When he pulled up to
his house, first he noticed that his wife’s car was missing. He rushed into the
house, slamming the door, while dialing Ceely’s number on his phone. Straight
to voicemail.
He ran into their room
and the closets were empty. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised but how could
she just take the baby. A check of the baby’s room confirmed that even
Brandon’s clothes were missing. Jacob wandered to the crib feeling numb,
leaning on the rails. That’s when he spotted the note. He reached for it with
trembling hands and could not stop the loud sob that escaped when he read the
words written on the paper.
You Can Still See The Stars In Seattle by Kade Boehme Releasing: March15, 2013
When Andrew Riley
arrives in Seattle to work at an underprivileged school at the request of his
cousin, Amanda, he finds himself sharing accommodations with her current
boyfriend—his estranged high school friend, Jacob Carter. Living in close quarters
and working with Jacob at the school brings Andy’s old crush on Jacob back to
the surface, but for the same reasons then as now he can’t let it be known:
Jacob is straight, very uptight in his morals, and now involved with Andy's
cousin.
Jacob Carter has
loved Andy his whole life, but nothing scared him more than when he thought
Andy might return that love. Denying his feelings broke his heart, but there
was no way Jacob could accept his homosexuality. So he did what all good
southern boys were brought up to do: got married and had a child. Only that led
to him cheating, his wife running off with their son, and Jacob trying to atone
for his mistakes by living the straight and narrow with Amanda. But with Andrew
is back in his life can he keep up the facade? Can finally surrendering to love
show him where his future really lies, or will it destroy his chances of ever having
his son in his life?
I dont even know what to say to all of the awesomeness that has been going around with the release of Wide Awake. Thanks to the awesomeness of great friends we really got word out and the readers totally did the rest. I'm totally a bestseller now! <3 I'm fangirling over all over you badasses who went out and bought the book and for all of the positive feedback I've received. Not only have I hit bestseller but I even made it in the top 5!
HOLY SHIT!
Y'all make me so happy! And to show how stoked and appreciative I am, I'm going to make an announcement that I wasn't going to make for a minute in lieu of a bit of Wide Awake spoilerage.
Andy's story is next. 3/15. Save the date :) If y'all keep it up I just may throw the blurb out there soon.
